Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded matter that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Funny thing, married dating have been going on since old ages. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with troubles, cause heartache, and other problems. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, funds, age difference, spiritual upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, lonely wife looks for dating.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking extramarital affairs. I am conserned typically though it is only the human nature, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and exciting, and sex makes us flee the world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can switch the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos the world has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their doubts and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your spouse or anybody else? You will need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, huge really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, except they feel comfortable in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to look after. Your finances are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a regular reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the gentleman is sexually neglecting his woman for a tones of reasons. As a male I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply developed distantly, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.