Age difference in marriage as a widespread problem
Single women and men from different countries often become a match for each other. Such marriages can be called intercultural rather than international. The success of the international or intercultural marriage depends first of all on the personal qualities of the two people, whether they are a man from the Netherlands and a Russian woman or an Australian and a Ukrainian lady. But still two different personalities are also two different cultures that meet in the international marriage. To understand better what influences the length and success of an intercultural marriage one should know certain aspects of such marriages. Most common characteristics of successful intercultural marriages are the following.
1. Personal compatibility and sincere desire to preserve the marriage. This means that a couple in an international marriage should have commitment to the relationship, which in its turn should be based on love and common goals. For example, Ukrainian women are very family-oriented and will demand the same from their foreign husband. Intercultural spouses try harder to make their marriage successful, they are ready to accept any differences and difficulties than people in mono-cultural marriages. In other words, such commitment helps to make marriage more stable and lasting. Love is also one of the main characteristics that contribute to the success of a marriage. Notwithstanding the difference in cultures, love is the same feeling all over the world; a British man may fall in love with a single woman from Russia, as well as Ukrainian woman may find great personal interest in a Portuguese. Sincere desire to preserve marriage also means that there should be some common goals that the spouses are thriving to achieve. For example, when both American husband and Ukrainian wife want essentially the same things out of life they will find a way to work together towards those ends.
2. Successful communication. If a Russian woman marries an Englishman or an American, then the two should understand and be understood by each other. What is even more important to have successful international marriage is to learn one another’s style of communication. Russian and Ukrainian women have style of their own, as well as foreign men are used to particular communication patterns. Language barrier and initial communicative deviations can play positive role, though. People who speak little the language of the other spouse are usually prepared for perceptual blackouts, to listen attentively, to clarify and try to understand before making any conclusions. That creates a deeper sense of mutual understanding between a Russian wife and an Australian husband, between a Ukrainian woman and an American man, between a German young man and a Ukrainian girl or between two people from any other country.
3. Flexibility. Being flexible in the international marriage means being able to adjust, being open to trying something new and different, accepting the possibility of existence of alternative ways in seeing or doing things. Some Russian women as well as women from Ukraine tend to be independent, self-assured, convinced in their rectitude. Future foreign husband of a Russian or Ukrainian woman should be flexible enough to accept his wife as she is, and to let her learn to be flexible herself if she wants to be not only the taker, but also a giver. The readiness to changes, open-mindedness and sense of humor added to flexibility are a great help in solving problems that might appear in an intercultural marriage. Also, a liking to the other’s culture is quite necessary to reach harmony in relationship. Partners should like enough from each other’s cultures to be able to accept or overlook the parts of culture they dislike.
Of course, no list of characteristics may foresee every situation and fully describe all the factors of success. Intercultural marriage is a complicated notion, on the one hand, that requires more attention and energy to be put into than a monocultural marriage. But on the other hand, if two people love each other, such trifles as language barrier, cultural blackouts, distance between countries or any biased opinions can be of no hindrance to a loving heart.
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